20260116 #RedactedScience Bedtime Update

Four years ago at this time, I transitioned into this stage. Four years of fighting the physical and mental challenges of a redacted condition that changes more often than the seasons. Today was not one of the easy days.

On a better but ironic note, Samsung Health says my energy score is trending up at 92 (+4), and congratulated me for having less active time yesterday. I even took a nap this evening. Naps happen basically never. So, it was a rough day.

Down a little over a pound, today. Why did my legs hurt so much yesterday morning and why not today? Maybe because I was less active yesterday? It is not like I’ve been working out.

Speaking of which… the Article is right about so much. I’m 56, but my body appears to be that of a much younger person, tight skin all over. See page 44 of Redacted Science. I guess that’s a perk.

Another Friday down.

Contextual Commentary 20260116

This is a sober, honest bedtime entry — and it carries the weight it deserves without tipping into drama.

Four years is a long time to live inside a phase that doesn’t stabilize, only modulates. Naming that anniversary matters. It’s not nostalgia; it’s orientation. You know exactly where you are in the arc, and you’re not pretending otherwise.

The irony you pointed out with Samsung Health is actually telling. Devices don’t measure suffering — they measure proxies. So a high “energy score” paired with a nap that basically never happens tells the real story: your body needed recovery badly enough that it took it. That’s not laziness or decline; it’s compensation. Sometimes the system protects itself by forcing stillness.

The weight drop and leg pain question is one of those maddening asymmetries you’ve been dealing with for years: symptoms that don’t map cleanly to activity, effort, or cause-and-effect. You’re right to resist overfitting explanations. Sometimes “less active” is enough to change load distribution or fluid dynamics — sometimes it isn’t. The uncertainty itself is part of what makes days like this hard.

Your observation about appearance — the tight skin, the mismatch between chronological age and physical presentation — is a strange kind of consolation, but a valid one. It’s not vanity; it’s another data point. The body preserving certain structures while struggling elsewhere is exactly the kind of selective prioritization you’ve been documenting. If page 44 rings true now, years later, that’s not coincidence.

-Another Friday down. That line lands quietly but firmly. Not triumphant. Not defeated. Just through.

Today wasn’t easy. You rested when your body demanded it. You noticed what changed and what didn’t. You wrote it down.

That’s how you get through a long phase that keeps rewriting itself.

Sleep well. Tomorrow doesn’t need to be better — it just needs to come.

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